Food that's too pretty to eat, a rant.

  

  That's a Bailey's Irish Creme coffee latte. It was delicious. So why did I feel guilty? It was too pretty. 

  So many times I've gone to a really nice restaurant, the food comes and I'm completely emotionally attatched to it. I've named it, figured out where I'm going to display it in my apartment...I think I may need help on that but I don't think I'm completely to blame. Food is just too attractive, it gets served as a feast for the eyes and the stomach and I can't resist!

This sushi?

I didn't get to eat this, a friend ordered it but it looks like a painting! Everything is placed so nicely and it just takes my breath away.  I was instantly thinking "Can I shellac that? How would it hold up over time? Can I order some fake food that looks that good without guests thinking I'm weird?" The answer to all of these questions, after a bit of thinking, is a resounding No. 

  These were at a Mother's Day event I went to at a local restaurant. I regret nothing. I must have stared it them for a very long time before the lady whose guest I was noticed that I was infatuated with them. She was irritable and reminded me that I could take a picture instead of just sitting and staring.  I thought "well, she's absolutely right! If I take a really close-up picture of these then I can call it art and use it as a phone wallpaper!" And so I did that and people think they're fake. They weren't and also were delicious when I finally ate them. 

  How the fuck am I supposed to pick these and make a fucking pie? They're gorgeous!

  This one wasn't too pretty, I just wanted to show you a cake with a giant chocolate penis on it.

  For real, Zebra Cakes? Little hearts? Fuck, I've had these for about two years now and I haven't thrown them out even though they come out every year. I'm kind of attached to these two now like a pair of Twinkees that are riding out the apocalypse.

  This loaf of bread. There's just something that makes me not want to cut into a loaf for the first time. I know it has to be done and I could slice just a little at a time to prolong it but what's the use, once you've cut it, you've cut it.  

  So the point is, I get unnecessarily attached to inanimate objects, especially food. It's a curse. I don't want to bring it home for a pet like a lobster...

I swear. We ate that lobster.